Christ began his ministry in one of my most sacred places, the ocean. He ended his most profound lesson in one of my most beloved places, a garden. We have so much to learn from this Master Teacher, so much to be grateful for, because this I know..... pain and adversity is a teacher to which we all must be subject in our mortal journeys. In the economy of God, opposition is a necessary force of growth. Opposition = choice = agency. We choose how we will handle our challenges and learn from them. I've had a lot to learn.
Opposition is of course a powerful but necessary law of the universe. Imagine a single human cell. With limits it becomes a perfectly ordered human being, capable of function and reason, healthy in most circumstances and able to live independently. Yet without bounds that single human cell becomes a dangerous cancer capable of killing that same human being. It is for our necessary good. Opposition provides balance. It provides a proving ground for choices and progress, growth and boundaries all of which are necessary in our lives. How we use this opportunity is up to us.
I have spent years, since I was five actually, studying music. In all of it's perfection one of the most advanced forms of music I've performed is a concerto (a very long magazine of notes which requires a stage of musicians to stare at you and play along with you. They also talk about you in the dressing room after when they think you're not listening. That is a concerto.) There are several musical elements or 'ingredients' in the said concerto including: melody, harmony, rhythm, texture, pitch (up and down), musical aerobics, etc. With movement and silence and harmony, each element opposing the other you have a symphony.
This is where things get really interesting for me. I have found in my life that God always teaches me with the most personal of lessons, when I stop and LISTEN. He usually uses the experiences and people I know best. Very often it's with music. He gracefully allows me to learn through teaching, and to teach through learning. Jesus always was the perfect teacher. And music is of course, a perfect example.
Without silence opposing the notes, harmony complimenting the melody, and rhythm defining the bounds of structure you have chaos. The many definitions of chaos: confusion, disorder, disarray, disorganization, mayhem, bedlam, pandemonium havoc, turmoil, tumult, commotion, disruption, violence, opposition.
Opposition. Most people don't like this word, and I have often found that I shrink from hearing it in books I read and life experiences I see coming. But here's the thing: when you change your perspective, you change your problem. All of a sudden, there isn't one.... and that is an opportunity to learn something. Here is what I have learned: pain and opposition are really empathy in a nice little box. I've also learned that opposition is a growth opportunity. I have a worn out piece of paper with a poem scribbled on it in my journal. I found the poem this morning. I love it because it explains so many of life's trials in a way that I can understand. It was written by one of my former teachers, Barbara Werrett Neilsen.
It is entitled, "Pain"
I have seen love,
Fallen on unbroken ground,
Blow with the first wind.
I have seen love,
Laid in a shallow row,
Unearthed with the lightest rain.
But pain
Is a plow
That opens earth for planting.
My heart is ready now.
Hurt~furrowed, it has depths
Designed for sowing.
Oh, love that lands here
Finds good ground for growing.
I am thankful for the lack of material goods, the lack of money many times. I learned to appreciate earning my own way in the world and the value of work.
I am thankful for the many years of illness... Lupus, strokes, heart defects, surgeries, recoveries, sick days on end, unexplainable illness and chronic years of daily migraines. These too have etched patience deep in my soul. Empathy is a song I sing.
I am thankful for the ten years of infertility and the stinging judgmental comments of well meaning strangers and friends. My adopted heart children are two of my prize possessions. They are truly my best friends. I can cry with those and for those who weep for the want of children.
I am thankful also for the child I lost. I know I'll have her some day. Longing is a feeling that's grey and heavy, it wraps around my shoulders and helps me compose the music in my heart.
I am thankful for being remembered with one miracle child of my own, born at 36 weeks weighing 4 pounds. The toxemia and kidney damage I suffered don't even matter. I'd do it again in a second. She is my light and joy.
I am thankful for the loss of my grandmother. I didn't like being the one to find her that morning because I still feel guilty 30 years later. If only I'd come back in the room two minutes sooner I could have said I love you one more time. But now I remember. So I'm mindful and more grateful of the ones I see every day and I always say "I love you" before I leave them.
I am thankful for enduring the trials of a broken marriage. It's alright, through the miraculous work of the teacher I admire most I can still repent and I can forgive. I can plant a new garden and grow again. God still loves me. Sometimes I don't understand why, and that's okay too. He just does. He just does!!! And that is why all humankind can rejoice in opposition of growth and pain.
I am thankful for the atonement, for on that night a solitary act of love and sacrifice I can never understand was endured for everyone who would ever live, including me. He had to understand how we would feel, the opposition... so he could overcome the chaos and return order and balance and perfection to everything and everyone.
My challenges have defied me, yet I have chosen to never let them define me.
Our Saviors empathy and love are real, just listen. He felt and overcame every challenge and every ounce of pain you or I will ever experience. Let him teach you too. Beautiful things happen and harmony returns when you choose to let the Master pick up the baton and begin to conduct the symphony of your life.
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